Chapter Text
Going back to work feels strangely normal. Despite the obvious, not a lot has changed and thus far JJ and Antonio had decided to keep their relationship a bit of a mystery. Of course Penelope knew but none of the others were aware of any specifics. Obviously all of them have by now realized that the two agents have feelings for one another and both Reid and Derek know that they’ve been on one date but they do not know just what had happened on that date.
“You know that you’re being dumb?” Penelope asks one day while Antonio is in her lair. “The entire team knows that you’ve got lovey dovey eyes for each other. Why not just come out and say it?”
Antonio leans back against one of the desks, rolling up his shirt at the sleeves. “We’re just trying to figure out how exactly we want to do this. Don’t get me wrong, I adore JJ more than anything but we both know that it takes more than that to make a relationship work. And before we go to HR we want to make sure that we’re doing the right thing. Not just for us and the boys but also for the team. If we find that it screws with our work, one of us will have to leave and I want to take care of that before it becomes an entire thing.”
“I guess I can understand that,” Penelope admits, the bracelet at her wrist jingeling. “For what it’s worth, I don’t think that you have anything to worry about. You’ve been in love with her ever since you joined the team.” When he raises his hands to protest, Garcia pulls up an old team photo on her computer. It shows the entire team maybe four months into Prentiss’ acceptance into the team. He halts when he sees it. Antonio hasn’t actually looked at pictures from before he had transitioned and to be honest, it feels weird. That person on the screen both isn’t and is him.
They have the same nose, the same pale skin and the same eyes. But there’s mascara lining that agent’s eyes. There's long hair falling on slim shoulders and lipstick shimmering on lips. But what Antonio can see is that his gaze is glued to JJ. The blonde is laughing, one of her hands covering her lips, while a blush is creeping up on her cheeks and Antonio is just looking at her with something that can only be described as adoration.
Friendship.
That’s what they called it back then. A deep friendship. He feels laughter bubbling in his chest. So much has changed since then and yet Antonio knows that he’d still look at her the same way.
“Still in denial, lover boy?”
He shakes his head. “Guess you got me, PG:”
The blonde smacks her lips together, clearly satisfied. “I’ve waited so long for you two together. You deserve happiness, both of you.” Her voice is surprisingly serious. “And I don’t want you to hold yourselves back because you’re still afraid of the unreasonable. You’re adults and you adore each other. Just be honest and hopefully everything will work out.”
The of the desk is cool against Antonio’s finger, it helps to keep him grounded. “What if we’re rushing into this? What if we go from zero to one hundred percent and somehow we can’t deal with that?”
“First of all: Insecurity isn’t a good look on you, Prentiss.” Penelope tilts her head and holds up one of her fingers warningly. “Secondly: You know fully well that there is no security in relationships. But that’s the fun of it. You have to fight to make it.” Her brows narrow as she looks him in the eye. “Are you prepared to fight to make your relationship with our sweet JJ work?”
Antonio stares back at her, feeling like she is scanning him for any sign of fear. His shoulders straighten. “I think so.”
“You think so?”
“I know so.”
Penelope spins in her chair and smiles. “That’s what I like to her.” She bites her lip and looks him up and down. “Now, JJ was a bit tight lipped about what happened on your date.” The blonde wiggles her eyebrows suggestively. “Any chance that you’ll let something slip?”
Antonio laughs. “JJ would kill me if I said anymore.” He leans down and grins. “But let me tell you, I’ve had a few relationships in my time and this?” He pauses.
Penelope swats at his shoulders. “Will you just finish that sentence, you prick? I am dying over here!”
“It’s amazing,” he says. “JJ is the smartest, kindest, prettiest and absolute sexiest woman that I have ever seen.”
“Sexier than me?” The tech goddess pouts, sticking out her lip.
Antonio clicks his tongue. “Oh I believe that everyone knows that you are on an entirely different scale.” He winks.
“You certainly know how to butter me up,” Penelope says.
The older agent pecks her cheek. “No need to butter up if it’s the truth.” He sighs. “You know, I have a few people up my sleeve that I could set you up with.”
Garcia arches her eyebrows. “No corporate people, remember that.”
“As if I could ever forget that.” Antonio places one hand above his chest. “Swear to god, no corporate bores.” He has a Cheshire cat grin on his face when he says: “But I might have befriended a tattoo artist or two.” The brunet pushes himself away from the desk and walks towards the door.
“You say that and just walk away?” Penelope yells after him.
Antonio laughs. “I’ll send you the time and the place. Just be there to be wooed!”
There’s a certain pep in his step when Antonio makes his way to his desk. JJ is currently working in her office and Derek is somewhere around that isn’t here. The chair behind the desk suddenly seems very uncomfortable to work in and he looks around to see if there’s any other space that he could work in. On Spencer’s desk he can see the small radio, spotless as always. He walks over, leaning down to greet the younger agent.
“Spence? You love me, right?”
He looks up, frowning. “Yes but we both know that that isn’t what you want. So what is it?”
Antonio grins. He’s proud of the kid. He’s learned how to socialize a lot more since the first time that they had met. To be fair, at the time Reid was going through some stuff, being kidnapped and drugged, which then resulted in a fairly obvious addiction. So maybe his scales were a bit tipped. But nonetheless, the young profiler had overcome a lot and Pentiss decides in that moment that he will let Reid know this more often. That he can be proud of himself.
“I wanted to ask if I could borrow your radio again?” Antonio does his best to make himself look trustworthy, if not adorable. He might look different nowadays but he still has his doe eyes and he’d be damned if anyone could resist them.
Spencer sighs and hands him the apparatus. “Bring it back.”
“You know I will.”
Reid grimaces. “I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt.”
Antonio sticks out his tongue, because obviously he is an adult who works for the government and makes sure that the most dangerous in the US are put away. The hallway where he ends up, is as always, deserted. With the folders in hand, he sits back against the world. Much better, Antonio thinks as he bends his legs to be comfortable.
Turning on the radio, all the classical stations are ignored until he hits one that is playing what he wants.
Goodbye, my friend, it's hard to die
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that spring is in the air
Pretty girls are everywhere
Think of me and I'll be there
Antonio stretches his neck, relaxing as he starts to search through the pile of folders. Why do agents even have to do this paperwork, he asks himself. Rationally Prentiss knows exactly why but as so often, ignorance is bliss and a great reason to complain.
His mind begins to wander, remembering the morning that he had spent with JJ and Henry. The boy had shown him that he could now almost do a cartwheel. It still looked wobbly and very much not like a cartwheel but to his credit, he is getting better and better. Also, his proportions are off and both JJ and Antonio had to stifle their giggles when they watched the toddler tumble around the living room.
“He won’t hurt himself, right?” Antonio had asked out of the corner of his lips. He had been amused but there was a part of him that couldn’t shake the fear.
JJ had looked like she was about to cry from holding in her laughter. “Nothing serious,” She’d eventually managed to stammer. “And honestly? These bruises will be healed in two days but this?” She points at the boy who is joyfully howling as he lands on his butt once again. “This is priceless.”
Antonio had grinned and raised his arms to reach around JJ’s shoulders. “I’m honored to bear witness to this then.”
“Glad to hear it.” She’d burrowed her face in his chest when the kid had somehow ended up doing a headstand, looking at the two adults with confused eyes before managing to get his feet back to the ground. “God,” her giggles had wrecked her entire body and Antonio had just stuck out one of his hands to give him a thumbs up.
“You’re doing great, Henman.”
JJ had tears rolling down her cheeks as she desperately tried not to break out laughing. “It’s good to know that he won’t be getting into college on a sports scholarship.”
Antonio squeezed her shoulders. “I didn’t want to say anything but we’re sure that he’s smart, right?”
“Definitely.” She flinched when Henry landed on his butt once more. “Maybe we should stop him.” They watched Henry get up. “How did he get Spencer’s physical abilities?”
Antonio chuckled. “Don’t look at me. You made him godfather, this is on you.”
The agent feels the smile spread on his face as he remembers. The air is warm and he can hear the radio doodle on.
We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun
But the hills that we climbed were just seasons out of time
He works for a few hours until the small print is beginning to blur before his eyes. Antonio gets up from his position on the floor. Shaking out his legs in order to loosen them up, he makes his way back towards the office. There are both Reid and Morgan, silently pouring over their own paperwork.
It’s weird to see the BAU like this. Without an ongoing case and so entirely serious. Of course Anonio knows that this is a somewhat frequent event but when he thinks about the team, it’s never quiet. There’s always something going on, whether that’s laughter or the pang of a gun. Whether it’s crying or heart to hearts in hotel rooms. It’s quiet but as he watches Antonio begins to understand that it’s necessary.
There has to be silence because how else would any of them fill the time in between euphoria and devastation? Silence is a part of life, whether he likes it or not. And maybe it will will help him to appreciate those times that Derek will annoy him over the little things and Reid will once again miss the moment during which he should be shutting his mouth.
“I’m going to get lunch,” Antonio calls out. “Does anyone want something?”
The two agents jump up. “I’ll tell the others,” Derek says and goes to inform the rest of the team. Pentiss leans back and watches as the BAU comes pooling in one by one, now happily chatting. The silence eviscerates in favor of their conversion and Antonio can honestly say that he feels more than content to watch his team fight over the menu from the Chinese place around the corner.
When all the birds are singing in the sky
Now that the spring is in the air
With the flowers everywhere
I wish that we could both be there
